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To avoid falling victim to one of these, you should never initiate any intimacy with a sugar daddy unless you've already received your sugar. Īnd though the term's a bit crass, sugar babies have to be wary of what the community calls a "pump and dump" - the common occurrence of a false sugar daddy not providing any allowance or PPM, getting intimate with a sugar baby, and ghosting. And a "salt daddy" is just a jerk, especially if they're faking generosity just to get into your pants. A "Splenda daddy" is a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. "Experience daddies" are the ones who don't pay sugar babies in money - just gifts like fine dining, hotel stays, and glamorous vacations. Many relationships start out PPM, as it's less risky for the sugar daddy than setting up an allowance right away. In another type of relationship, sugar daddies give an "allowance" on a set schedule, like monthly or biweekly, either in cash or through a payment app like Venmo. Some relationships are PPM, or "pay per meet" - in those arrangements, the sugar daddy gives the sugar baby a specified amount per date. Some of the things I've received on my first dates include stuffed animals, books, and $300 cash.
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Usually, money doesn't change hands here, though it's not unusual for the sugar baby to receive a small gift. There's the "meet and greet," or M&G - the sugaring community's term for a first date. Sugar babies and sugar daddies are often referred to as SBs and SDs - partly for brevity's sake and partly because some people are weirded out by saying "baby" and "daddy." I'll often check back and remove viewing privileges from certain men if the conversation didn't lead any further.Īfter dipping my toes in the sugaring community, I began to adopt the language used by sugar babies and sugar daddies in the online world. Also, I make sure I know which photos are viewable to the public and which are available by request only. I have a strict "no cross-contamination" rule when it comes to photos. To protect my identity, I make sure not to use photos that exist anywhere on my social-media accounts.
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Many sugar daddies will run a reverse-image search of sugar babies' profile pictures in an attempt to avoid scammers who are using photos from models and influencers. The secrecy of the sugaring lifestyle means I have to be careful about the pictures I use on my dating profiles. Being deceptive with appearances will only hurt you later. I don't get discouraged, and I try to attract only men who I think will find me attractive. This is largely untrue - being traditionally attractive certainly helps, but a sugar baby can look like any woman of just about any age. I think the most common misconception about becoming a sugar baby is that sugar daddies are looking to date only 18-year-old blond models. (And I've had men straight-up message me, "Thank goodness you don't have a dog-filter picture!") While face-altering filters exist and can help mask your identity, apparently it's a turnoff for men. The key thing is honesty, both in your self-descriptions and your pictures. I described my personality and wrote a few charming epithets that I thought might be appealing to the kind of man I'd like to spend time with. Getting started with a dating profile as a sugar baby is pretty simple. Marcus Hessenberg/BarcroftImages/Barcroft Media via Getty Images As a woman in a major city with an appreciation for societal deviance, I figured the lifestyle might suit me well. I wanted to supplement my income and have some fun doing it, so I decided to try finding a sugar daddy.įor the uninitiated, "sugaring" is a form of dating in which one partner financially supports the other, often in the form of cash or gifts. My day job offers me control over my schedule, since I don't work a traditional nine-to-five. I'd grown frustrated with dating men in my city - maybe I'd just had one too many Tinder dates end in mediocre conversation. Six months ago, I decided to become a sugar baby.
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This story was originally published in 2019 as part of a series on the financial side of relationships you can read other entries in the series here. While some people consider sugar relationships a form of sex work, it's a label rejected by sugar dating sites and some members themselves. Note: The author is a freelance writer in her 30s whose identity was verified by Insider.
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