Passivity or the appearance of perfection won’t do your children any good. They need to know that arguing is healthy and essential for your marriage. Within reason, allow your child to see how you worked out an argument or disagreement. Our son, unfortunately, was affected by that.ĭon’t misunderstand having a healthy marriage with having a perfect one.Īrguing and resolving in front of your children teaches them the skills to do this someday in their relationship. There was a season when our marriage was struggling-badly. When your marriage is off, you are unable to be present for your child in the way they need. Think of your marriage as a gateway to your child’s perspectivism. The elements that make up a healthy marriage are all aspects that will influence your son so that he can live a mentally and emotionally healthy life.įriendship, affection, healthy communication, perseverance through difficulties, commitment, passion, humility, etc., are all things your son will soak up when he looks at the relationship of his mother and father. Their young and influential minds will someday become a teen mind, with teen hormones, and teen stubbornness-all the more reason to use your window of opportunity when they are little and be the most influential person in their life.ĥ things you can do as a parent to mentally and emotionally influence your son in a healthy way Have a healthy marriage If you can be present when they make life decisions, you can guide them in that, but those days WILL come to an end.
I can do everything I can to ensure that they will be mentally and emotionally healthy, but it’s also their choice to be-which is why it’s so important to allow them to make their own decisions, under your care and direction. The other element to their well-being is their own choices. Some days I hope to God that I haven’t messed them up. I can show them SO much by my actions-by being healthy myself. That it’s okay because it shows us our need for God. It helps them understand that it’s OKAY to fail. That I also make mistakes and throw fits. I need to volunteer at his school, so I know who his teacher, friends, and possible bullies are. I need to listen as my son expresses himself and shares his feelings. I need to be present when they show me the beautiful rocks they found that day. They need me to look up from my phone and listen to how they built the BIGGEST HOUSE EVER in Minecraft. They need me, and when I can show up for them, it will tremendously make a difference in their lives. I forget that I need to balance my correction with encouragement–how moldable and movable their little hearts are. Somedays, I forget that my influence on my boys is so compelling.
It will guide them in processing their emotions, having healthy relationships, and standing firm in what they believe. This lens, good or bad, will shape how they view the world. In my other post, What a Boy Needs to Hear Daily, I mention the importance of speaking truth to our kids.Īs parents, we create a lens for our children to look through. With that responsibility comes the power to shape your child’s view of themselves.
To be their primary influence is our biggest responsibility as parents. Your children will be influenced by something, whether that’s you, their friends, their teachers-good or bad. Parents WILL be a boy’s primary influence, whether good or bad
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In this article, we will be talking specifically about how to raise mentally healthy boys, and how they have specific needs from their parents, as opposed to girls.
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